I always thought I knew what I wanted for my wedding, so I figured I wouldn't turn into those crazy brides you always hear about. And while this was sort of true, I found myself getting a little crazy at times! I mean, where does that come from? I've come to realize, after going through this myself and dealing with so many brides, that this phenomena is ok, and actually rather normal, sort of.
And here is why. You are faced with the fact that your wedding day needs to be the best day ever. You tend to obsess over things you would have never thought mattered and you can't help but picture the day over and over again to the point where you know exactly how every move is going to go.
Likely this is going to happen, at least to some extent (I have worked with so many wonderfully calm and awesome brides who seem to handle the pressure so very well). So here are a few tips on how to stay positive and awesome while planning your wedding:
Choose your vendor team first:
Before even thinking about design, escort cards and straw choices, get your vendor team in line. Trust your gut and choose a team that is willing to work with you, bring up suggestions and offer advice when needed. You don't have to be alone while planning and you'll realize that your vendors actually have a lot to offer if you ask.
Work through the wedding day:
The easiest way to plan a wedding is to work through it. It is much easier when you realize you don't have to do everything at once. Start with the ceremony. Pick the songs, altar decor and chair selections, then move forward with the cocktail hour. You'll define your style as you go and won't have a todo list the size of your leg!
Don't sweat the small stuff:
It is all in the details, we all know that. But focus on the details that matter before you obsess over which color straw is the perfect fit for your drink.
I blame Pinterest for a lot of the newfound stress that comes with wedding planning. A lot. The options are endless, as are the budgets. It is fun, but sometimes it isn't real. We all love a good Pinterest board, but realize what can and can't be accomplished and focus on the good. Choose a few awesome things and leave the other ideas for parties you'll be planning in the future.
You can have something cool and detailed at every turn but I promise that most of your guests won't even notice it all. Things like floral, place settings and ceremony decor will make the biggest difference to your guests. The best way to spend the money is to focus on the personal experience each guest will have then move forward on some of those awesome tidbits you'd love to see at your wedding.
It will all be alright:
Here is the thing that no one tells you. Your wedding day will be even more amazing if you aren't so stressed. I was so involved and concerned about how everything turned out that if anything was a little off, I was upset. Relinquishing control and not knowing exactly how the final product is going to turn out will allow you to be pleasantly surprised on your wedding day. Who cares if people didn't sit in the exact spot you wanted them in or if your throw pillows weren't placed on the exact chair you wanted them on. You'll be much happier if you leave a little bit of chance up to your very talented vendor team. They know what they are doing and will make decisions to make your wedding day look its very best. Trust in your team and let the small things go.
You will have the best wedding you've ever seen because it is yours. No one can take that away from you except for you. I wasn't a very good bride but it was no one's fault but my own. My team did an even more amazing job than I could ever have imagined but my own stress and "this shouldn't be there" made me obsess way too much over the small stuff.
Lesson learned. Too little too late, but hopefully you won't make the same mistakes I did!