How to get your Groom Involved

Today we have guest blogger Jeff Kear, who runs I was able to take a tour through the site and navigate it on my own for a bit to become familiar with the tools and how it works. Now, I talk about the need for simplicity in the wedding industry all the time, and this site delivered it. Obviously wedding planning is an intricate process, so these type of sites can only be so simple and still cater to all needs. But I loved the fact that I didn't have to sit and think about how to do something, it was all pretty straight forward and simple! I have to say, all of these are incredibly smart ideas. Here you go!


I'll speak for all guys when I say that most of us would rather pound sand than go look at wedding cakes or shop for centerpieces. However, even though wedding planning isn't naturally in our DNA, we have made a commitment to the woman we love to be her life partner, and this really begins with helping out with the wedding.

Most guys believe it's safer to just stay out of his bride's way and let her take over (and in some cases this is probably better for everyone). But for most couples, the bride-to-be really doesn't want to do everything herself and would love to have help and input from her guy. This is when guys need to cowboy-up and do whatever you can to create an event that reflects you and your bride.

Just a warning to women ... I'd be lying if I said we are highly competent at all wedding planning tasks. For example, don't assign us with choosing the wedding colors unless you like the colors of the New York Giants (or whatever his favorite team is). And don't give us responsibility for the flowers unless you really, really like red roses (it's pretty much the only flower we know).

However, there are a few key tasks that I think would be right up our alley, and they are...

1. Interviewing the bands/DJs - We guys usually know our music, and the great thing is that we usually share the same musical taste with our bride. So assigning your groom to find and interview musicians or DJs for the reception is a great task for us.

2. Keeping track of the budget - Most guys also know their way around a <a href="" target="_blank">wedding software</a> program or spreadsheet, so when you're making purchases, the two of you can consult and he can track what is spent and if you're on budget. That's great teamwork.

3. Picking the cocktails and drink menu - I'm not sure I need to say much about this, but if you're guy doesn't jump at the chance to pick out the types of beverages to be served at your reception and negotiate with the venue, then you may need to check his pulse.

4. Negotiating with vendors - Guys love to haggle, which is why we probably like car shopping so much. So when you're at the point with a vendor when you're negotiating price, bring in your groom to be the heavy. At this point, you've probably built some good rapport with the vendor and like them, so you can be the "good cop" and your groom can be the "bad cop" who is driving to get the best deal. That way, you get a better price and still get to be best friends with your vendor.

5. Interviewing/sampling prospective caterers - I can't think of a better day than one in which I'm visiting nice facilities where people are bending over backward to please me and serving me lots of samples of their best cuisine. Pitch it to your groom this way, give him a fork and get out of the way.

6. Running interference with family and friends - Brides get pressured from many directions (mothers, aunts, friends, etc.) when you're planning a wedding, but you don't want to step on feelings or want people to feel like they're not being heard. So sometimes you need someone to lay down the law, and that's a good role for us.

7. Serving as cheap labor - Need someone to stuff and seal invitations? We've can handle it. Want someone to glue ribbons on your centerpieces? We can do that, too. We've mowed lawns and painted fences for years, so whatever manual labor you want to throw our way, we can take care of it.

Hopefully this gives you a good start, but the best bet is to sit down with your groom when you start the planning process and divvy up responsibilities from the start. Happy planning...


So what are all of us brides thinking about this??? Pretty darn smart huh? I think the groom honestly does want to help, but I agree, give them tasks that don't involve making decisions that you care more about than he ever will. Tap into his talents and have him handle the stuff he is good at!

What suggestions do you have for other brides, what is your groom helping out with?