Dress Update #1
January 7th, 2012 by
BrianneDonahue
I am calling this update #1 since, long story short, I did not purchase a dress while home for the holidays. So there will have to be an update #2 (and maybe a #3 and #4…).
Although shopping was fun, after visiting three different wedding dress stores, I found the process COMPLETELY overwhelming. I really thought I was going to be a lot more decisive and just know more immediately whether I loved or hated a dress. Of course there were a few dresses that I put on and knew immediately that it was not THE dress. But those were the exceptions. For the most part I felt every dress I tried on was very pretty, and I could be happy in it on my wedding day. Thrilled? Maybe not. But happy – sure.
I think after watching WAY too many episodes of “Say Yes to the Dress” I really thought I would have that moment where I would look in the mirror and feel butterflies in my stomach. I would look over at my sister and my mom and they would be pulling out the tissues. The consultant would look at me and say, “Is this your dress?” I would then respond emphatically “YES!” without a single doubt in my mind that this was the dress I was meant to walk down the aisle in.
Well, that didn’t happen.
But I did come out of this experience with some concrete learnings. Namely, I need to listen to my gut. There was one dress I tried on that my family loved – and I did too. But there was something telling me it wasn’t the one. Finally, after a second visit to the store to talk to the seamstress about the dress, I randomly found out that a high school friend wore it to her wedding, which immediately ruled it out for me. After making the decision not to buy it, the biggest sense of relief washed over me. It wasn’t THE dress and I knew it and I should have listened to my gut from the beginning.
Anyway, I am going to take a couple weeks off to cleanse my palate. Next week I am going with a friend to look at a dress that she has her eye on for her wedding. Maybe that will reignite a desire to look for my dress. But for now, I need a break!
Anyone else experience something similar? Were you expecting a “Say Yes to the Dress” moment, but it didn’t exactly turn out that way? I would love to hear about it!
P.S. Sorry for the not so great pictures – we were trying to be covert!
January 07, 2012 at 6:04 am, abby said:
I totally understand!!! I tried on dress after dress after dress and while they all (of rate most part) were pretty and I would look lovely walking down the aisle in them but each one had something I wished was a little bit different. I found one I really liked but it happened to fall out of the price range (boo) and eventually settled on another dress, its fine, everything I wanted in a dress. I think I was just done trying on dresses! I go for my first fitting on Monday, so we’ll see how that goes :)
January 07, 2012 at 8:17 am, Carrie S. said:
Aww, I’m sorry to hear that dress shopping didn’t go as well the first time around. The dress I got was the first dress I tried on. For me, I knew my shape and what would flatter my body versus not. I took some pictures in with me, then the consultant pulled a few. I was stuck between two dresses, but went with the first one because I was the most comfortable and felt like me in the dress. I found that I was more comfortable in organza versus satin. Did you figure out which fabrics made you more comfortable or seemed more your style with the first outing? Also, which fit made you more comfortable than others. I can’t wait to see what you pick out!
January 07, 2012 at 8:54 am, Keri said:
I didn’t have a say yes to the dress moment either. Even when I found my dress- I was all business. I knew it was the one because my mom cried. After ordering it, I went back to show my future mother in law and she cried too. I’m surprised the shops let you take pictures! Almost none of the shops I went to would allow it! Good luck! You will find it!
January 07, 2012 at 12:13 pm, Kelly said:
Hi Brianne!
Go to Trudy’s in the south bay. Campbell I think. 3 good friends plus my dental hygentist have found their dress there after scouring the city.
January 07, 2012 at 12:32 pm, Meagan H. said:
I was having the same experience… but I kept making the rounds and finally had a giddy moment. I narrowed it down to two to show my family, but think i always knew which one I would pick. I had great luck at Jin Wang in SF. Good luck! And have fun… whenever i would get stressed my fiance would always remind me that this is supposed to be fun!!
January 08, 2012 at 8:50 am, Brianne said:
Thanks everyone for your encouraging words! I was definitely feeling a little down after the entire experience but I know I will find THE one!
@Abby – good luck at your fitting! I am glad someone else out there felt the way I did during this process!
@Carrie – definitely a fit and flare. Other than that, I liked several different kinds of fabrics, which is what made it challenging!
@Keri – THANK YOU! All business – I think that is exactly what I need to change my mindset too. I’m putting too much pressure on myself.
@Kelly – definitely going to check that place out!
January 09, 2012 at 12:53 pm, audrey said:
try j’aime in pleasanton! i’m a sf bride as well, and a friend recommended the shop. bought the second dress i tried on and couldn’t be happier. everyone cried so i definitely knew it was the one. here’s to hoping i like it in march when it arrives after not seeing it for 6 months!! good luck!
January 09, 2012 at 4:32 pm, Brianne said:
Thanks, Audrey! Adding that to my list of shops to hit up!
January 10, 2012 at 9:49 am, Mazy said:
Those wedding dress shows really glamorize the process but in reality I don’t think there is necessarily “THE dress” for anyone. So many dresses would look great on you, especially once they are perfectly tailored to your very toned body. :-) You’re going to look and feel beautiful regardless so just enjoy the process!
January 10, 2012 at 5:30 pm, Brianne said:
Thanks, Mazy ;)
January 11, 2012 at 8:25 pm, Ingrid McLloyd said:
Who knows you may come by your dress serendipitously. Keep the faith Brianne!
February 04, 2012 at 2:34 pm, Kathy LeSage said:
I didn’t have a This Is THE Dress moment, either. After going to at least four stores, I narrowed it down to two gowns. Ended up getting the first one I’d tried on. It was also the least expensive by far. I knew I’d made the right decision on our wedding night, when Tom told me the dress was ‘perfect.’ Your cousin is not generally a super romantic guy —shocking, I know—so that was high praise indeed. Twelve years later I look at our pictures and am still glad I picked that dress.
February 06, 2012 at 11:35 am, Brianne said:
@Kathy – that is very reassuring! And glad Tom liked it ;)
March 24, 2012 at 5:01 am, I still don’t have a dress | Engaged & Inspired said:
[...] the dress shopping trip with my sister and my mom, I took a two month break from dress shopping and I think that really helped. I was able to process [...]