{His Ring} He Doesn’t Want to Wear One
January 12th, 2012 by
Christina
The hubby-to-be is a simple guy when it comes to fashion. Put him in a nice pair of jeans (Joes are his current faves) and a well cut, v-neck t-shirt and he’s a happy camper. Accessories? You can forget about that…his only accessories are a belt and a pair of sunglasses. He does not wear (or own for that matter) a watch, bracelet, ring, etc. It’s just not his style and I’m okay with that…Well, I thought I was until it came time to discussing his ring. We talked about whether or not he ”has” to have one (um, YES!) and then whether or not he ”has” to wear it (the jury is still out on that one).
When we went ring shopping for him, my poor guy was visibly uncomfortable. Having something on his finger felt so alien to him. Every sales person told him ”Don’t worry, you’ll get used to wearing one” but that did little to calm his fears. To be honest, I thought I would like seeing him with a ring but it looked a little funny and so not ”him.” I’m hoping that was just because we haven’t found the right style for him yet!
After a lot of thought, we decided that he will get a ring, if for no other reason than to have something to exchange during the ceremony. Then, he’ll give it an honest effort to try getting used to wearing the ring. If he still hates it after a while, I think I’m okay with him not wearing it. So, the next step is: we need a ring! Knowing that there’s a good chance it may not get worn often, we don’t want to spend too much on it. We’ve done some browsing on Overstock.com and think the four styles below might be worth trying. Bonus: They are all priced well under $100. It doesn’t get much better than that!
An added bonus is that our photographer, Trevor Dayley, takes really gorgeous ring pics. We definitely want to have something for him to shoot, even if it ends up being mainly for show. A few of my favorite ring shots of his are below…aren’t they fabulous? I can hardly wait for ours!
One part of me doesn’t care if Christian chooses not to wear a ring. I don’t believe that it will make us any less married or that it means he is not committed to our relationship. If he doesn’t like wearing a ring, why should I force him in to doing something that he is uncomfortable with? However, the other part of me thinks it would be really nice to have an outward symbol of our love and unity for all the world to see. I am not one of those girls that thinks any random guy with a wedding ring is sexy but I can imagine getting butterflies when looking at my hubby with a ring, THE ring, on his finger :)
So ladies, what do you think? I’ve read some pretty emotionally charged posts on forums about this issue and it seems like many girls have struggled with the same thing. I’d love to hear your thoughts!
January 12, 2012 at 6:19 am, Jessica said:
My husband was the same way – really unsure if he’d wear the ring post-wedding day so we bought a simple (cheap) titanium one. He is wearing it now, still, 8 months after our wedding and only complains about it here and there. I really think that as long as a guy who is unsure buys one and tries it, you can’t ask for more than that.
January 12, 2012 at 6:23 am, KateOHara said:
My fiance is the same way, he felt weird trying them on…and it looked funny too! I’m hoping he gets used to it also…love the rings you picked, we;’re looking for something similar. Do you feel bad if his ring is under $100? (not that you should) but I’ve picked out a $600 ring, so I felt a little bad the ones he’s seen and liked aren’t that much!
January 12, 2012 at 7:01 am, Christina said:
@Jessica- I’m glad to hear that your hubby is still wearing his! I am so curious to see what happens with Christian…I will have to keep you guys updated :)
@Kate- That makes me feel so much better! I felt a little bad that I had to hold back some giggles when he was trying on the rings ;) Honestly, I did feel a little guilty because my engagement ring was crazy expensive…he picked out my wedding band too (bought it along with the e. ring) so I didn’t really get to feel guilty about that since it wasn’t my choice. But I have totally gotten over the feeling bad about it part because I know he would rather spend the $ on something else, like traveling, rather than on jewelry for himself that he doesn’t want anyways. I’m super curious about what he’ll end up with and will definitely let you know. Let me know what you find for your fiance!
January 12, 2012 at 10:02 am, Allison Silber said:
My husband was the same way. He really didn’t like it. Although, luckily, he didn’t put up too much of a fight, although I guess I was assuming one of these days he would slowly stop wearing it.
First up, the first few weeks after he started wearing it, was totally awesome for me :) I loved seeing it on him and it definitely gave me butterflies.
I think that if he gives it a chance, and still doesn’t like it, then fine, but he at least has to try, and I bet he will start feeling weird without it!
January 12, 2012 at 2:14 pm, Brigitte - Artsy Heartsy Events said:
My husband never wore a ring before we got married, and it definitely felt funny to him at first. But now (over a year after getting married) he feels naked without it! To top it off, he decided to get his wedding ring tattooed on (most romantic tattoo ever) but likes wearing the real ring so much, he wears it on the other hand.
Most guys don’t wear rings until they get married… I have a feeling your fiance will grow to love it (for the same reason you’ll have butterflies seeing it on him). :)
January 12, 2012 at 2:32 pm, Amy said:
I think the tattoo idea is great, how does he feel about that Christina? My guy is not a jewelry person what-so-ever but he’s excited to be able to showcase that he is “off the market” if you will. I understand it may feel weird to wear a ring if not used to one, but I don’t think it’s an excuse to NOT wear a wedding ring…is it really that unbearable? How would he feel if you didn’t take his last name and/or wear your ring?
January 13, 2012 at 12:10 am, Christina said:
@Allison- I’m glad to hear that you also went through this! And even happier to hear that your hubby was willing to give it a try :)
@ Brigitte- I have a feeling you might be right…Actually, something very cute happened last night. I told him about some of the responses to this post and mentioned that Kate and I chatted about the price of his ring. He said “Well, we might as well get a more expensive one.” and I said no, it’s not a big deal if he thinks he wont wear it…and if he does decide he wants to wear one, we can always upgrade..and he said, with the sweetest, almost embarrassed smile, “But then it wont be the REAL wedding ring and that’s not the same!” So, maybe there’s hope for the sentimental feelings to take over on this issue ;)
@ Amy- I think he’d rather wear a ring than get a tattoo! I have four tats of my own and I’m pretty sure he thinks that I have enough for the both of us, hehe. I think he will totally wear a ring if I really press the issue but I’m trying very hard to decide if I want to somehow pressure him in to it or not…I’m hoping he just makes the “right” (very biased, I know) choice on his own ;)
January 13, 2012 at 2:31 am, {His Ring} He Doesn’t Want to Wear One | Engaged & Inspired – said:
[...] help this week. My hubby-to-be does not want to wear a wedding ring! Please check out my post on Engaged & Inspired and give me some [...]
January 15, 2012 at 5:31 am, Melissa said:
Don’t worry Christina I’m sure that Christian will wear it proudly. As you know my husband, who is very much like Christian didn’t wear any jewellery before marriage and he was hesitant himself. I’m happy to report that after 11 years of wedded bliss (wink) he has never taken it off.
January 15, 2012 at 10:55 am, Christina said:
Thanks Melissa! It shouldn’t surprise me that Christian takes after Thomas a little bit, should it? :) xx
February 16, 2012 at 4:12 pm, Betty said:
Luckily for me, the hubs didn’t give any issue with wearing a wedding band. The only issue we had was the first time he went to look at the bands, he thought they all looked like tires! He ended up going back later. I guess my thoughts on the situation are this. 1) Your hubby-to-be should give it the old college try. It took hubs a little while to adjust but now, he doesn’t even notice it…like so many others have said. 2) Good idea keeping it cheap! Hubs does say he wishes he had just gotten a silver band instead of white gold, it would have been cheaper, and no one would have known the difference! 3) I would make sure he gets a comfort band style. My BIL does say, he wishes his wasn’t so boxy on the sides because it can be uncomfortable. If it’s uncomfortable, your hubby-to-be probably won’t last a day with it! 4) All of that being said, it’s just a ring. My BIL won’t get another ring because that’s the one he got married with, but I say, get new rings, get tats, whatever works for you…it’s just a symbol of the love you share!